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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, ERIDANUS SUNGAZER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 099.23.886.00 * Archmage has joined 099.23.886.00 <Archmage> Hello, this is Eridanus Sungazer. <Archmage> In the event I am currently unavailable, please leave a message. <Archmage>** I will answer back, promptly. If I feel you are worth the trouble.

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Wonderful, I am excited to partake in your human tradition.

A merry Winter Solstice to you too, Doctor Pierce.

Ironic, considering how few current humans are involved.

Let me know if you need any help with the human silliness.

I am going to get in tune with the "holiday spirit" and not point out how adorable your facetiousness is.

Good luck in delivering your own presents, ser Kringle.

[ There is a delivery of a small rectangular gift, wrapped in that skillful way which clearly tells you it was wrapped in the store.

Inside, there is a book titled A Complete Introduction to Go Strategies and Tactics, as well as a letter. ]

Dear esteemed Eridanus Sungazer,

I learned that you enjoy chess, so I will take this opportunity to introduce you to Weiqi, better known as Go here in Ryslig.

I won't insult a passionate player with the kind of board that can be bought for 20 solars but if the book catches your interest, you should have no problem finding one in Bavan.

If this gift displeases you, feel free to voice your displeasure.

Wei Wuxian

did i say thahnk you??
thtank you
THANK YOU
for th wingy thing

[It takes him some time to realize that wingy-thing=Riley, before he replies.]

Riley,

I am certainly happy to have been of help to you. You are most welcome.
Are you okay, though? You are typing erratically.

Yours,
Eridanus Sungazer

you dont have to signn yourr message!!!
i knw its yoou
you dont have too worry im jusst
jjust a littlee bit
woozy
itss cool

Are you experiencing any pains?
Do you need medical assistance?
Tell me your location and I will arrive promptly, Riley.

[Concerned mode activated!!!]

its okaaay relax!!
wwow is this how everryone fels around me?? lol wow

imm fine
ij ust cant stand
so i ttook more painkillrs
gi orno is takin caare of my ccat :)))

[NOT STANDING SOUNDS SERIOUS, RILEY.]

Are you at least somewhere safe?

[Because that's most important.]

You should probably take less pain medication, my dear.

yes!!! i am hhome
hahaha i mena not really home if only
im at myy apartmet
i cant taake less bc thne my feetll stsrt hrutingg agan
dont want that

Well... at least they are still attached.
I witnessed a young man whose foot-bones yeeted themselves from his ankles.

I am sure he was in quite a lot of pain, then.

Also, how is your kitten doing?

oh!!!! that sounds like giorn o!!!
also how th hell do yuo kno that word???

maplee is doing well!!!
he ws upset becaause i coldnt feed him but now hes ok

Yes, Giorno. He spat on me.
I like him.

Annie taught me the word "yeet" as well as some others.
One time someone on the network called me a "boomer."

I am glad Maple is well, Mr. Bigglesworth is very fat and happy here.
Do you enjoy squeezing Maple's toe beans?

spat on yu??
nnoo that doesnnt sound likee goirno anymoree hes reallly nice
orr mybe it des hes alsso a littlee weridd
i liek him though
hes my friend

thhat soundsr ight
i ttalked to anie once!!! i thnk i hve t try agn
itss hrad meeting new people :///

hohh!!! do you havee a cat now??
thats a vvery nce namee
maplle gets a llittle tooo surrprised whn i touch hhis feet
but imt rying too teacch him its ok :))

I would certainly like to get to know him better, perhaps we can all get lunch together sometime.
We can invite Annie too.

[By lunch, he means eating people, but that's just sort of implied here.]

And Mr. Bigglesworth is always happy to receive attention, he lets me squish his "beans" unlike some other felines I know.
I'm sure Maple will warm up to your touch soon, though.

By the way, what does ":///" and ":))" mean?

This is your OFFICIAL notification that the monster pinup calendar photoshoot has been delayed to January 18th, owing to blizzards, burning, alien flesh parasites, and death. Sorry for the short notice, but your friendly neighborhood organizers were trapped in a death hotel, so. Deal with it.

In the meantime, this gives YOU more time to think about the shoot! As you're a Demon, your calendar month will be October, with the theme of Halloween. Your fellow monsters are JOJO and BlackHat on the Network; so maybe give them a holler, and see what you can cook up! Your month is the only one with three people in it, AND you have the prestige of Halloween, so you crazy kids go nuts.

If you have any questions or concerns, or if you died and need to be excused, let us know.

- Harley Quinn

Dearest Harley,

Unfortunately during the events that transpired at the party, I was executed.
When I awoke today, there was something distinctly different about me.
I am no longer a demon, and I have apparently returned to my troll-skin.

Barring how frustrating this is for me personally, I will be unable to participate with the other demons for the photoshoot.
I would still like to help with the charity.

Is there another month I may be photographed for?

Thank you,
Eridanus Sungazer

Oh NO

ERI MY POOR BOY :(((((((((((((((((((((

Well hey, look on the bright side- you're still the prettiest troll I know ;)

But I'm sure we can squeeze you in somewhere; no sense in you getting all excited and then not being able to participate! We've got more than a couple months that only have one monster in them; I'm sure they'd be happy for someone to work with. Let's see... oh, let's do it like this. Pick one:
- Snow
- Speakeasy/Poker Night
- Sports(Baseball, maybe Archery??)

I am ever-happy to help.

Perhaps sports, since I have the physique for it?

ooohm y gosdh you knnow abot yeet but not smsmileys???!!!
theeyre facesss!!
ussuallyn i use emooji insted whhich r likee
thheyre littel pictrres yuo ccan sedn peeolep!!!
bbut thesse laptos dont hav them :(((
sso turnn your hed sidewaays
the : ssi he eyes and the ( iss the mmotuh

:))))

[ ...she got so excited about this topic she ignored everything else, huh. ]

I see, for this emotionless platform of communication, having these "smsmileys" helps alleviate expressing the wrong tone.

Thank you for your assistance, Riley.
I am excited to use smsmileys.

:)))))

Are you okay? Also I'm swearing off kissing ever again. Slightly related topic.

I apologize for corresponding to you so late, dear Annie.
I died.

Why do you wish to swear off of kissing, did someone hurt you?
Who must I inflict torture upon?

I'm sorry that happened to you. I think the problem solved itself? You see, I think my timing was just bad. I kissed this guy who has been very carefully flirting with me. He had an incredibly thoughtful gift sent to me. It was during that mess at the ski lodge. He was under the creature's control. I thought he was okay and I was so happy to see him. I had to throw myself out a window to save myself and broke my arm.

[ Annie feels like she's being silly, but she has had such bad luck lately.

Maybe she should just swear off kissing. ]

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December 20th, delivered by harpy

<CheeryCherry> | backdated to January 10th | cw: painkiller abuse

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<GiggleGrrl> - Morning, January 14th

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