icy_veins | Inbox

Yes though I am not too sure how to use it, as I never have myself.
Perhaps if I...

[It takes him a moment but there there a short burst of static, and an audio message plays:]

"There we are. It seems there is a button for recording along the top row of buttons.

Can you find it?"

[ There's a small delay. Like, thirty seconds or so. Then: ]

"—llo? ...Iiis it working? ...it...looks like it's working!" [ A cheerful little giggle. This is...perhaps the most relaxed Riley's ever sounded. No, definitely. She also sounds a little breathless, like she can't quite tell how fast she's speaking, but...that's probably a painkiller side effect. Like the slight slur to her words. ] "Ohhhh this is sooo much better. THANK you!"

[Eridanus hasn't really used the audio function on his laptop ~~because he's a boomer~~, but if it makes things easier for Riley, then so be it!]

"You're welcome. I'm glad that this is easier for you," [and makes it a bit easier for him to decipher her words,] "so you have new feet growing in, it sounds like?

Are you certain you should be taking so much medication, did Dr. Pierce recommend it?"

[ A peel of laughter starts this message, one that sounds like it'd been going on for longer than she hit record. Oops. ]

"Ohhh, the doctor didn't say ANYTHING, I just took these. I couldn't really GET there, right?? No feet!!" [ Ah... Does she sound a touch bitter? ...Just a touch. Just a very small touch. ] "Soooo I just took 'em 'til it stopped hurting." [ And another giggle. ] "Probably a biiiig mistake...but I can think now, sooooo. That's a lot better."

[ It sounds a lot more concerning when she says it out loud, huh... ]

"I see, well, as long as you're feeling better that is what's important."

[Because Eridanus is not a good influence, and to him, substance abuse is a completely valid way of dealing with life's issues.]

"So are your feet completely missing? Are they slowly regrowing? I have yet to lose body parts in this world, I am curious how it works."

[ When all of this wears off, Riley's going to be more than a little horrified. But, right now? Worries and fears keep slipping out of her mind. She's chill. Relaxed. Huh... Was this why Chess did this all the time?

...The next message takes a few minutes, because this thought is enough to knock her out of the slaphappy mood, at least...somewhat. Listening to what Eridanus asks, however, it's easy to refocus. ]

"Noo, they like... Melted's kinda reductive...but it's the best way I could put it?? They like..." [ She sounds frustrated, like she can't think of the words. ] "They turned all raw and red...and kinda curled in, 'til there wasn't anything left but stumps...'nd then the talons started coming through, and...and that really hurt..."

[ ...A prolonged pause. Has she forgotten where she was going? There's just a good ten seconds of breathing. ]

"...S'anyway, they're uh. They're reforming, I guess. But like...like a bird's."

[Luckily, Eridanus is the last person who could ever judge anyone for what Riley is going through. He has, and will continue to do much worse things than taking far too much pain medication for melted feet.

Still, he can't help but laugh at the way she describes her experience. The sound of it is cheery, despite the grotesque content of their conversation.]

"Hmm... there are a few words I would use to describe. Charred? Torched? Seared? Though that last one reminds me too much of steak."

[Another indulgent laugh, and then the sounds of someone shifting, because now he's lying on his back with his laptop across his belly. Might as well get comfy.]

"You don't seem too happy about your bird-feet. The last time I saw you, you were sprouting wings, as well.

I think a harpy suits you, Riley."

[ This message comes through fast, with a small prolonged grumble. ]

"I don't wanna be one. I don't wanna be a bird, I wanna be a human."

[ Everything about her sounds...childish. Like a little girl she tries so hard not to be. ]

[In response to Riley's grumbling, Eridanus' message begins with a hearty peal of laughter.]

"You no more than I!" [He sighs,] "I miss my former appearance. I miss my smaller body, and the way magic coursed through my veins. My face is hideous now, but at least my consort likes it. The only saving grace I have."

[There's a short pause, silence cracking through the microphone like television static.]

"But you know, Riley... I have not stopped being Rim'falen, and you have not stopped being human. These temporary forms are molded by who we were before we came here — that probably says something nicer about you than it does for me."

[ A bit of a delay— ]

"...A phoenix. It's...like I'm...a phoenix." [ It's not the first time she's thought about this. But it's the first time she's said it, out loud. ] "I don't think it REALLY says something, uhhh about us, though, I just- just think the fog's...mean."

[ Eloquent. But, it is her feelings on the subject. ]

[There's a long pause before his voice follows static, but Eridanus can't help being caught off guard by the comparison.]

"Exactly," [he smiles, and his voice softens too,] "the phoenix is my family's crest, and when I first came here, I kept that thought in the back of my mind as I went through my changes. That I am a phoenix, and from the ashes of this experience, I will rise."

[He laughs then.]

"Though that's not the sentiment I would use, I certainly don't agree with the Fog myself." [He's even got a few plans to escape, but he won't share that with Riley when she's this out of her wits,] "try to look for the positives in it though — I'm sure you'll love flying once you get the hang of it. It's a feeling like no other."

"I do wanna fly." [ Her voice is filled with longing. She hums softly, almost sweetly, and laughs again. ] "I've always wanted to fly."

[ It's a little convoluted, because she's always thought of that as a metaphor, sort of, but— she remembers wishing she had the right skill to be a flyer, in freshman year. To be launched into the air and feel herself really truly soar. The soft humming continues, as she loses herself in that thought for just a minute. ]

"I like to look for positives. This place is just... it's so dark and dreary, and bad..." [ Still, a floaty quality to her voice, despite her words. ] "It's hard."

"Flying is by far my favorite thing about being a demon. I missed it so."

[His own voice holds a longing there, though it's not nearly as sweet. He has no idea how long he will be in this demon-skin—whether it's for a few months, or for his remaining residence in Ryslig. But for however long it is, he will enjoy it.]

"When your wings get stronger, let's go flying together."

[In the meantime...]

"All the more reason to look for the positives my dear, you have your life for one. You have friends, people who care about you. A roof over your head, and even your little kitten." [A pause,] "Here, people will not judge you. They will not hate you simply for the things you have done, or who you are. At least there is that."

[ Riley's barely holding in some laughter, when she turns on the recording. Except— ]

Okay... That's not true. People judge you everywhere. Becoming monsters doesn't change that. [ Despite everything, she still sounds...jovial. ] Where'd you get that idea?

[A sly smile spreads across Eridanus' face.]

"I suppose you are correct, they do judge you — but here, I'm not afraid of the law coming after me if I decide to set someone on fire for it. What is that phrase you humans say... do not let the haters get you down?"

[ And, she's laughing again, bubbly and bright. ]

"It's...so weird to hear you say something like that, haha! Ha... Ohhh... Cai'd think like that. She always does what she wants. She...wouldn't let anyone tell her what to do." [ Softer. Wistful. Gentle. A pause. ] "...It's funny, not being afraid. What'd it be like, not being afraid...?"

"If I knew, then I would tell you."

[Which is... probably the most vulnerable thing he's mentioned out loud. He wants to say more, that he's always afraid, that he refuses to think about it most hours of most days. Except days like today, where the fear and the nightmares are too much to go to sleep.]

"Distractions are good, though. People, hobbies, purpose." [Things that drown it until it's all just white noise.] "Who's Kai?"

[ As if she hadn't even mentioned the previous topic, with glee she's rarely shown: ] "Cairo!! She's my... She's Cairo, she's- she's always been there for me, since we were little kids! Ohhh, I miss her... I miss her so much."

[Eridanus smiles, and it reaches his words too when he next speaks.]

"She sounds like an important friend." [His tone is soft, gentle.] "You will see her again soon, Riley, do not fret. Tell me about her in the meantime, she sounds like quite the free spirit."

"She's amazing... When I was a...a shy little girl...she took me under her wing—" [ She gasps, and then giggles, because that is so funny now. Give her a few moments to collect herself. ] "And- a-and she- she decided...we were gonna be best friends. And, when Cairo decides something...she gets it. That's how it's always, always been. She's... She does what she wants. Whatever she wants. When she wants to."

[ Just a few seconds, of Riley breathing. Thinking. ]

"We... We were fighting. Kinda. Before all this. I was afraid, to talk to her, 'cause..." [ ... ] "I... I gotta tell her... I gotta tell her I'm sorry."

[ There's- she's already typing something else, already working on her laptop, like she forgot to turn off the recording. It ends a moment later. ]

[There's a bit of a pause, silence filtering through the microphone in static white noise.]

"I'm sure she'll forgive you, Riley." [His voice is softer now, but it doesn't have the warmth that was heard with his smile.] "You are good friends, and you said it yourself, she chose you. I doubt what you fought about is enough to end your friendship."

[His own recording lasts a few seconds longer, as if he wants to say something more, but then it cuts out.]

"...I stopped talking to her for months." [ Mumbling, distracted. ] "I just had to... I just had to sort it all... I was gonna say something. I was. She has to know, I'm— okay, okay, so I...we weren't...but I didn't mean it, I didn't mean— I just wanted some- some help, I didn't- she- she h-haas to know, I need her, right, I need- wi- without her, I'm—"

[ Quick, sudden breathing. Riley seems to remember, she's talking to someone. She's saying all this, even as Cairo's words echo in her head. Nothing, without her. ]

"I'm...not sure I...wanna talk about this, anymore."

[He listens quietly, with a long pause where he's simply absorbing the information whether Riley wishes him to, or not.]

"Okay." [His voice cuts sharply through the silence, only to be parsed with another few seconds of crackling static, before he continues.] "Have you found a job yet, Riley?"

[There we go. A change in subject. It's what she wants right? If they have anything in common, it's that willingness to simply sweep under the rug.]

[ And just like that, a switch is flipped in her mind, and she can forget all those unpleasant things. ]

"Yes. Yes, Cassandra- Miss Cassandra hired me. I do...desk work, and...yes, file sorting."

"Do you like it?" [Or rather,] "do you like this... Miss Cassandra? I can't say I've had the pleasure."

[He pauses, wondering if Riley really... is okay. He's the one who changed the subject, but as much as he doesn't want to remember a lot of things over the last two months, he's still concerned.]

"Are you okay? Er, or, are your feet okay. Does she know about your feet?"

[Very smooth.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, ERIDANUS SUNGAZER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 099.23.886.00 * Archmage has joined 099.23.886.00 <Archmage> Hello, this is Eridanus Sungazer. <Archmage> In the event I am currently unavailable, please leave a message. <Archmage>** I will answer back, promptly. If I feel you are worth the trouble.

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<CheeryCherry> cw: ok there's just a LOT of unsafe medication usage in THIS tag so

<Archmage> cw: honestly this is not much better cause it's condoning it

<CheeryCherry> cw: referencing prolonged substance abuse, describing body horror

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